Most of you who read this blog and this post, know me personally. They know that I write. That I am a face painter. That I am creative. I love that God created me to be creative. It took me years–even into my late 30s–to accept and love who I am. I spent a good deal of my life fighting myself, belittling myself, looking down at not being put together, instead of enjoying a bit of creative chaos.
Here are some things I’ve noticed and accepted about being creative, chaotic, and maybe a little ADD.
- My mind doesn’t shut down easily. I stay up late because it continues to tick through tons of things.
- I don’t “see” things. I could walk by weeds in my flower bed for weeks. It’s not that I’m lazy so much as I just don’t pay attention to them.
- I need to be creative or I become depressed. If that means putting a craft before mopping the floor, I will do it to protect my sanity.
- Organization can be hard.
- Procrastination comes easy.
- Too much detailed information makes me shut down. If someone is giving me too many details, I will find myself thinking about what to do later.
- I will forget things if I don’t write it down because my mind becomes cluttered quickly.
- I get bored with monotonous tasks… such as housework. Doing repetitious things makes me want to pull out my hair.
- My mind often flips from one thing to another like a button on a remote control. It can also drift into itself and my imagination.
- I can get disappointed in things because my creativity always imagines things happening bigger than life… in detail.
- I am passionate about the things I believe in.
- I MUST create. It is not an option.
When I am painting faces at an event, I often hear mothers talking. I hear things such as:
“Wish I could paint like that.”
“I don’t have a creative bone in my body.”
“I could never do that.”
And in their voices, I hear the sadness of them not being able to do it like me. My response is something along the line of “I bet you are pretty organized.” And many times, they nod their head.
Listen to me on this one. IT IS OKAY NOT TO BE LIKE THE OTHER MOMS. You are you, and God created you to be exactly like you, differences and all. Wouldn’t life be boring if we were all the same? It’s okay to be one way or the other… or even a mix of both.
In the past, I envied the moms who looked like their homes never had clutter and even resented them and their annoying perfection. But God didn’t create me like that. He created me to imagine, create, to dream. And if you looked at my office right now, you’d see a pile of metal stamping supplies. And in my dining room, I still have my face painting kit sitting there, not yet put away because my closet where it goes needs to be gutted and reorganized. (It is on my to-do list). My computer home screen is covered in files and images, which is why I have my own computer because it would drive Pete (my husband) bonkers to try and share with me.
My house gets cleaned…eventually.
My dishes get washed (but maybe not right away).
And things are never, ever, completely organized. I am usually chasing one hair-brained idea or another that gets in the way.
And I’ve learned to accept that it is okay to put things aside once in a while and feed my creativity–you need to. And my home doesn’t have to be perfect to have a happy family.
I recently had a mom (one of those put-together, “perfect” moms) tell me that I could pray to be domestic and organized in reply to me saying that, “I’m not very domestic.” I think that those who are put together think that being put together is the “right” way. In the past, I would have beaten myself up and compared myself to her, begging God to change me. Now, I smile knowing better.
Don’t get me wrong… I like having my house picked up. I still strive for it, but I won’t punish myself for not being there. But to do anything domestic, I have to have a list to keep my chaotic mind on those tasks. (And somedays, I actually DO follow the list). I like my home clutter free, but I will NOT consider myself a mom failure if it isn’t. Those kinds of things come harder to me, and that’s okay. I embrace my creativity.
It’s learning to work with what God gave me, and accept that I’m not like the “perfect” mom… who, by the way, isn’t a perfect mom. There is no such thing. And despite my undomestic imperfections, we are raising some pretty awesome kids.